How it started

(Blogger's note - this first post is long, but future ones should be only a summary of a day or two)
Well of course I've never been one of those skinny girls. I wasn't thin even as a child. Looking back I wasn't heavy either, but I probably perceived myself as such. I'm 5'8" and I've almost always been the same size. During one glorious period a size smaller and during some terrible periods a size bigger, but mainly consistent. I have an hourglass or pear figure-type. I flit in and out of exercising regularly, but I don't exercise in that hard-core totally sweaty competitive way. My husband does that! My weight has probably fluctuated between up and down the same 10 lbs post pregnancy, and even that lower end is a good 10 pound above my pre-pregnancy weight. I have big hips and big shoulders so I can carry a bit more weight than some. But not this much.

At age 37 and 2 kids later I've lost my one feature I really liked - a flat stomach, and worsened the bad ones. My bad areas of my legs, booty and upper arms have much more cellulite and fat. I am sort of a 12 but things are very tight and uncomfortable, and the scale is telling me bad things. 183lbs. Probably more than my husband. Completely depressing. That coupled with my largest clothes being massively uncomfortable propelled me into a serious look at my eating habits.

Lately I've hit an energy low. I run around with my kids and get exhausted immediately. I AM ONE OF THOSE WOMEN! How did I become someone from a makeover show, who eschews playing with her children due to her weight? This just happened in the last 6 months. I went from 175 to 183 since August 2008. Those final 8 pounds brought on the sluggishness.

My kids are now 6 and 4, less demanding and not sick as often. That means I'm not sick as often either. Many earlier attempts at regular exercising were derailed by long winters of sinus infections, strep, ear infections, no sleep and pure tortuous exhaustion. It's hard to keep up an exercise routine when you feel like crap and haven't slept a full night in months. Luckily I'm past most of that now. Currently any failure to exercise can be blamed on nothing but laziness and lack of discipline.

I eat a wonderful diet with one huge exception. Volume. I eat too much and too frequently. I must reduce portion size and eliminate snacks - or eat fruit/veggies for snacks. Must also increase tenacity of cardio and add more muscle-building exercise to my routine, not to mention do it more days of the week. But not yet. First I'm working on eating less.

Decision day - January 7, 2009
My fat clothes are tight. I'm not buying new ones. My husband is polite but I know he's disappointed in me - he's as in shape as he's ever been. My friends tell me, "Yeah it's time to do something." not "You look great!" I'm doing something. I remember the one time in my life I was thin for a long time. I ate less. Pure and simple. Thin people don't eat big portions. It's not that complicated. I can't think of a thin person I know who eats a lot. Well maybe a couple. I was weighed at the doctor's office today and the nurse politely kept the lever at 183 for such a brief moment I couldn't even discern if it was 183 or 184. I was wearing my Uggs and jeans so I'm going with 183.

Some history

I think I got to this place by picking and choosing the rules I liked from 4 basic books.

1. Vicky Iovine - The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy

We all pig out pregnant. How can you not scarf down potato chips and ice cream pregnant? It takes a long time to get it off. Give yourself a break for several months. After a year start working hard at it.

I glommed on to all but the last directive. I had big babies who ate constantly and quickly grew off the charts. They were nursed, and I was hungry.

2. Atkins

Eat all the cheese and meat you want. Don't eat carbs.

I chose to just believe that massive repeated slatherings of camembert and brie are acceptable and dietetic. Carbs are ok if they're whole grain or fresh fruit. Not real Atkins.

3. French Women Don't Get Fat

Eat what you love. Savor every bite. Don't over eat. Stop eating before you're full. Eat small portions. Don't over snack. Walk everywhere. Don't take elevators.

Ok, so I occasionally take the stairs and eat big portions of things I love. I do enjoy them.

4. In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan

Eat food. Mostly greens. Not too much.

I do great on the first part, ok on the second part, and skip the third part. Also he thinks fatty greasy meats are ok as long as they're grass-fed, sustainably raised and not eaten too often. Meat should be an enhancer not the main dish. I bought some grass-fed beef and farm-raised sausage links and went to town! They taste GOOD.