Cutting back on posting

Obviously I've cut back on my posting. I guess that is a sign that my need to blog about this experience is ending. People keep asking me what my goal is. I don't have a very good answer for this. I guess my original goal was 25 pounds. Then I moved it to 30. Well today I realized that:

I LOST 31 POUNDS!!!

I weigh less than I did at any time since I had my gall bladder removed at 26. Of course I had less thigh cellulite, fuller breasts and a tighter stomach then, but only plastic surgery would bring those things back - well I could work on the cellulite a bit harder.

I now weigh 152 or 153, depending on the scale. I think my goal is going to be officially 150 as I can't stand the idea of going down to 19 points a day. That's just ridiculous.

I don't really feel like I'm on a diet. I feel like I'm eating the way normal people do, as opposed to pigging out all the time like I used to.

I did just buy some new clothes so I'll take some pictures to post here.....and then my blog will be complete...I think.

One less point

About 6 weeks into this diet I made a decision. I saw that I was going to lose a point when I turned 38 in the summer, and that I would lose a point when I got down into the 160s in weight. Anticipating this seemed a little like anticipating a root canal so I decided to take the points off in advance, and just stay there. I couldn't possibly imagine going down to the 150s pounds so I decided 21 was where I'd plan on staying. (I don't usually use my exercise points and try not to use many of my 35 floater points - maybe I use half on weekends.) However much weight I lost at 21 points was my goal. I decided I could live at this rate for ever more, and just add in a few more special treats at social events when I got to "maintenance."

My general point breakdown at 21 points was as follows:

6 point breakfast

6 point lunch

2 point afternoon snack

6 point dinner

1 point random snacking/picking during day

Well 2 months later I did actually break another 10 pounds and theoretically need to go down another point. This is impossible! First of all, one point is well within the margin of error. I wouldn't even know. I decided to take it off of dinner - which puts me at a 5 point dinner! That's a snack practically. Last night I think I ate almost 8 points for dinner. I made 4 eggs with American cheese and was going to give half to Dave but then realized he went out for dinner, so I ate about 3 of them, plus most of the cheese embedded, so that was at least 7 points. I also had a few bites of Natasha's bagel, for another point. Horrible!

So now it needs to be as follows:

6 point breakfast

6 point lunch

2 point afternoon snack

5 point dinner

1 point random snacking/picking during day

Of course you are thinking - take off the "1 point random snacking/picking during day."

This is a good idea, but it usually occurs when  I'm making dinner and I just don't know how to do that. I'm starving at that time and also tasting the food to make sure it's ok. It seems easier to just eat less dinner depending on snacking level. 

So my point is, for the first time, I'm really reaching capacity. I don't think I can do this final drop in a point, and I'm not sure I really care! I do feel I need to up the ante on the exercise, especially weight lifting/toning type of things. People keep asking me my goal and I don't really have one any more. What I wonder most is at 20-20 points, when will I stop losing weight? I would guess within another few pounds...we'll see.   

Favorite 2 point snacks

It seems my 3:30 snack is one of my favorite things in my day. I always have a 2 point snack at that time. My goal is to exercise before then, as usually if I haven't managed to do so it's just not going to happen at all. Sometimes I exercise at home at 5pm ish if I have an early day, but not usually. At any rate - it's hard to make a 2 point snack. That's not much food and I MUST have protein at that time or I wither. Here are my top 10 favorites (taste good and filling).

1. non-fat yogurt with fruit or Kashi. Points depend on the level of sweetness in the yogurt. Today I have chocolate yogurt with blueberries - probably 2.5 points.

2. Trader Joe's instant miso soup. This is a new one. Half a packet of Trader Joe's instant miso soup with added tofu, fresh scallions (I cut up and put in tub night before).

3. medium banana

4. cottage cheese with grape tomatoes

5. low-cal, high fiber bread with laughing cow cheese. 

6. non-fat latte

7. sugar snap peas and carrots with hummos (I think 2 tbs is right)

8. soy crisps with carrot sticks

9. almonds - only if I'm TOTALLY craving them as you only get a 12 for 2 points. 

10. plain chicken breast chunks and celery sticks with buffalo sauce for dipping (3 oz measured out).

Unbelievable!

This has got to be the most ridiculous idea I've ever heard of:Deep fried chocolate chip cookie dough. Oddly enough, I typed in "Low fat chocolate chip cookie" into the search bar at foodtv.com and that was the first item listed. Ha!

Back on track today. Not starving all day long. Eating big breakfasts. I'm big into microwaving eggs lately. I've always disdained that as so gross/lame, but I have this perfect shaped latte cup from a fund-raiser and I love the little egg patty it makes and how clean my stove remains. For some reason the stairs were super-hard today.

I'm going to do some experimenting with making chocolate chip cookies...replacing the white flour, butter and sugar with healthier alternatives (possibilities include: whole wheat flour, flax meal, squash puree, stevia, oat bran, soy flour, wheat germ). Perhaps I'll leave in some brown sugar. They'll probably be horrible, but I'll try. I'm keeping the chocolate chips real. Some things are not worth compromising on!

Losing steam

I am one pound away from my original goal of 25 pounds (Home Depot has scales and I stepped on one when on a flower-shopping trip) and as the end is in sight, instead of trying harder, I'm losing steam. I gave myself yesterday as a "day off" and enjoyed cheese popcorn with Alex and dinner out with the whole family. I had a grilled salmon on a salad, but still, ate lots of the kids' buttery garlicky green beans (which btw everyone said were not as good as mine) and certainly went over the allotted 6 points of dinner. No bread, fries, dessert etc. The grilled salmon salad was ordered more because of having watched Nigella feast on something similar earlier in the day, than because I was being careful. After watching Nigella steam up some sweet/salty sake salmon concoction I was craving it. So I had a day off, although I didn't go crazy, and my main concern was whether, like an addict, I'd be able to hop back on the wagon again. Not sure where all this insecurity is coming from as I've done this before, but not lately. 

Perhaps it's because I'm hungry a lot lately and struggling to make it between meals. 21 points is just not very much food! Some weeks it is more than enough food and some weeks not. 

Truth be told, I always was hoping for 30 pounds, not 25, but 30 was just too big a number for me to get my head around. That would mean 6 more pounds to go.  It doesn't really matter though. I don't plan on adding many points back to my daily intake when I'm done. That's the sad truth of weight loss and it's a depressing realization. You can't be successful with a temporary change in eating habits but only with a permanent one. Dave says I'm cranky lately and perhaps my acceptance of this fact is why.  I've heard that it takes 3 months to really internalize a lifestyle change and I'm right at that mark.  

Time to think about how to make this a permanent lifestyle. As I was watching Nigella scoop up savory spoonfuls of salmon and saucy covered rice, I was thinking, "What if I were surrounded by excellent food all the time?" Could I still stick to small portions? It would be MUCH harder. I have tried to eat not only healthy food, but also food that tastes good. If I ever end up choosing just for what is the most filling/lowest points and it tastes bad I quickly chastise myself and try not to do it again. But relatively good tasting is different from something truly delicious. And I don't really cook that well that often. But I should! We should all love everything we eat. I'm trying Nigella's recipe this week. 

Lessons and random thoughts

1. It's harder not to snack at home, even when there are goodies at work.
   
2. I should wear tighter clothes. In the end they're more flattering.
   
3. I'm thinner than I've been in years and care less. Too many people I know have cancer.
   
4. I need to still enjoy myself by eating whatever I want sometimes, which I find I'm doing less and less.
   
5. Natasha told me she ate so many cookies she got nauseous at her last playdate. Will it take her 37 years to not do that also?
6. Stretch marks are very disfiguring. 
7. It is almost impossible to eat local, organic, sustainably raised, non-corn fed, etc.
8. Dieting is 100% mental. 
9. We need improved labeling in this country. It's hard to figure out what you're really eating without seriously reading labels.
10. I have very supportive friends and family.