Wisdom from Dr. Oz

Dr. Oz makes me want to jump up and down in agreement or scream in frustration. His goals are high. He suggests people eat nothing with more that 5 ingredients. I have to say I agree in practice, but that's hard! I guess that's easier than Michael Pollan who wants people to stay out of grocery stores altogether. These people have very high expectations!

Normally I ignore New Year's resolutions articles, but I think the man had some good points.  Full article here in the NYTimes. I hear his point about the breathing, but I still don't like yoga. But he gave the most compelling reason yet for doing it.

Julie/Julia

I just finished watching Julie & Julia and I have to say I was very pleasantly surprised. Everyone said the movie was plotless but well-acted and kind of boring. For some reason I found it utterly compelling. I don't think it was plotless, but rather just a true story. How could that live up to Hollywood expectations of plot? But it is of course two real-life fairy tales. Each woman did something remarkable and unique, and ended up famous. Of course one person way more famous than the other.

Maybe I was just warm and happy in my basement at 5 am knowing that it was so icy that we'd all be home today and I could happily watch a movie, neither rushed nor exhausted and all alone - at least for most of it. Natasha came down to snuggle with me at the end.  Maybe I was just happy to watch a movie period. Our Netflix queue is mainly Buffy the Vampire Slayer disks (those of you who read the book will get the irony there). Or maybe the particular fantasy of a food/cooking blogger with a dead-end government temp job becoming an author and then selling the movie rights to a group of people involving Meryl Streep, Stanley Tucci, Nora Ephron and Amy Adams just hits a little too close to home to ignore. Either way, from the opening scenes of the Eiffel Tower I was smitten.

It's rather delightful watching the parallel stories unfold, knowing the happy ending, enjoying the sweet husbands. And I'm generally an ultra-critical, anti-sap kind of movie-goer. I hated Titanic with a passion. My favorite movie is still Sophie's Choice. I do agree the ending was kind of poorly done...and Julia Child's accomplishments were far more revolutionary than is let on.  Nora Ephron just assumes everyone knows what they are and that the very accomplishment of her getting her book published stands on its own for all that is to come. I would argue she is showing her age and that many young people raised on the Food Network have no idea about Julia Child's full impact.

But that criticism aside, Julie, Julia and I had a lovely morning curled up together in my basement. Next up, on demand re-reruns of The Biggest Loser. I decided to work-out for 30 min while watching. Seemed like a good choice.

After eschewing the very concept of the show for years, and for the entire time I was losing, I have finally come around to see some of its finer points. I still loathe it for the original reasons I found it un-watchable: the tortuous workouts and endless crying seem designed to exploit the contestants (who are  oh so willing to be exploited) and the silliness of the "game" aspect undermines the importance of the very real and serious topic morbid obesity in this country. I know I'm a kill-joy. Plus the people are kind of gross all naked with their bellies hanging out. Sorry - not a very politically correct thing to say.

Lately, after purchasing a few Biggest Loser workout DVDs and liking them I began to pay attention to the pervasiveness of both the Biggest Loser brand and the Jillian Michaels brand (Bob isn't quite as aggressively out there). Marketing-wise, they seem to dominate the weight-loss space, more than Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Canyon Ranch, Atkins, South Beach etc. Such a funny concept, as TBL didn't start out as a weight loss plan, with monthly subscription costs, but rather as a tv show. But now, due to aggressive marketing, licensing and merchandising, it's hard to escape that hokey logo and Jillian's admonishing scowl. They have an online club, a resort, music cds, workout dvds, books, cooking equipment, exercise equipment, etc.  So here is what I'm learning....

1. First and foremost, what I didn't get when i just watched snippets of people looking like they were about to die is that the main focus is on building self-esteem through having the contestants complete extraordinary physical challenges. While I just saw this as exploitative, the "I felt like I was going to die" aspect is vital for these people, who REALLY need their self-worth brought up a few notches. For me I was able to get to an "I can do this" place in my head by reading some books and cooking a lot. But these people have serious issues and need major intervention. I mean, I always got the irony before of the title, but now I see, these people really did think of themselves as losers in the beginning.
2. The leaders view changing these peoples' lives as an emergency, like the contestants are on the verge of having a heart attack, which I'm sure many of them are. It's not a long-term, gradual type of affair, but rather an extreme boot-camp. I originally found this unpalatable, but I see where they're coming from. Time is a-wasting and these people are in serious trouble. To the one-third of Americans who are obese this point seems to be well-taken...hence the popularity of the show and it's brands.
3. Their program is very exercise-focused, rather than food focused. I know it's both, but they push the exercise as the primary component. I'm beginning to see why. I think some of it is physiological - building muscle speeds up the metabolism as opposed to just burning calories while it's being done. But Bob and Jillian are dealing with morbidly obese people. People who weight over 300 lbs generally have an emotional reason why they're eating and it seems to revolve around low-self esteem at some level. They all seem to have some breakthrough somewhere during the series where they come to realize they do have self-worth and are worthy of living a healthy lifestyle. So by pushing them to their absolute physical limits Bob and Jillian are building their self-confidence as much as their pecs. Probably more. 
4. According to the doctor, who by the way is the same doctor Jackie uses in her fitness camp, TBL group claims to be the first fitness establishment (fat farm) to push obese people to undergo professional athlete-style workouts from the get go. I don't know the validity of this. Certainly they're the first people to do a reality show about it.
5. From what I've gathered, the diet is very high veggie, many low-fat proteins, few carbs and fewer fats. I don't know how this is sustainable. I see how it results in very fast weight-loss, but I wonder what their long-term food plan is. I couldn't have lost the weight without eating lots of egg whites, chicken breast and non-fat yogurt, but I also ate a fair amount of whole wheat breads and fats as well. I certainly upped the fats after I reached my goal weight but I haven't read where they allow for this (mostly in the form of nuts and some cheese). This being said, I was not obese-far from it. My BMI was 28, with obese starting at 40. According to the show's doctor - people who were once obese have to be even more strict than those who were merely overweight, and for example, need to exercise 60-90 min/day, 5-6 days/week to keep the weight off. I would like to know why this is true.
6. I also read that the program caused a lot of people to end up in the hospital and is way over the top/dangerous. I'm sure this is true and I still find that aspect of the show rather repugnant. I can't seem to find the original article....obviously people who are obese and willing to walk around in bathing suits on tv have issues with fame and will go to any lengths. 

This morning I watched a special that reviewed the whole show. What was telling is that every person who lost and kept off the weight seemed to have a career change and become a trainer of some sort, either full-time or as a way to help their communities. These people each lost over 100 lbs and are now really fantastic athletes. A couple of them even did full-fledged triathalons (2.5 mi swim, 112 mi bike ride, 26.2 mi run).  This is amazing.

Anyway it was a morning of watching people find a new lease on life, and success through passion. Kind of a fun way to spend an icy morning.

Early to bed

I suppose this should go in the "what I did right" post from last week. One big problem that I know many people have is late night eating. I go to bed really early and that helps enormously. It causes other problems, such as not having time to do things and not spending time with my husband, but I get so tired and grumpy in the evenings that sometimes it's better for everyone if I'm asleep. It seems to me we are born with a certain proclivity for being a morning person or a night owl and there is little that can be done to change that.

At any rate on the rare occasion that I am up later than normal, such as last night, and end up being awake 5 or so hours after eating dinner of course I'm starving.

I wouldn't tell the whole world to follow my lead and go to bed early. But it would help to space out meals during the evening just as you do during the day so you don't go long stretches between meals. So if you do stay up really late as a habit, then plan an evening snack for a certain time for before you get out of control where-is-that goddam-ice-cream-scoop-hungry - something reasonable and high in protein such as yogurt or a hard boiled egg. You just need enough food to get you to finish your tasks and fall asleep, it doesn't need to be a whole meal - I would say something like 100-150 calories. And of course it helps to differentiate between stress eating and actual hunger.

For me planned meal and snack times combined with planned calorie amounts really helped me stay on track (eg breakfast, 8:30am, 6 points). I know it sounds really regimented but it eliminated the irritating guess-work and doubt and let me focus on picking the kinds of foods I wanted to eat instead. So instead of feeling regimented it felt kind of freeing. I was free from doubt-filled conversations in my head...I rarely had that "well if I eat this, will I be hungry later? Is this too big a lunch? Should I eat a snack now?" discussion in my head.  It was more, "Well for 2 more points (100 cals) I can have a slice of cheese or a banana or a piece of bread."  If I were a nighttime person, I would have added that evening snack in as one of my planned eating times and tried to structure night time eating as opposed to purely fighting it.

Despite the above post (which I wrote this morning) Today of course, I completely messed up - getting over hungry, not planning well and eating way too much pizza at lunch time. But now I can handle the over-run and control myself for the rest of the day. Partly because my stomach is so used to eating a certain amount of food that I'm still full hours later, and partly because I've been doing this a long time now so I can be slightly more flexible about what I eat when than I was during my 'losing' period. I'm more confident in my ability to sort it out by the end of the day.

Better than before

Dec. 1998, Key West

I found these two pics recently taken when was at my thinnest and most in shape before now. I was 26 and rollerbladed a lot. My most recent diet had been the "love" diet. Fall in love and get too nervous and excited to eat. It works! But obviously not sustainable. My diet previous to that was the "gallstone disease" diet. Also not sustainable. Eventually I did recover and was able to eat more than a handful of food at a time.

Last February I scanned these so they could be my "inspiration" pictures with the idea being that I would never look like a model so me at my most in shape was the most realistic inspiration I could think of. I was going to take a pic in the same position, twisted like that, of my stomach in Jan as a before/after comparison for the refrigerator and blog, but chickened out at the thought of exposing rolls of stomach fat to all of cyber-space (or in reality, my audience of 5). Back then I agonized over whether or not I should post my actual weight. Now I'm posting mortifying before pictures willy-nilly to this blog and even Facebook. They're still embarrassing, but not nearly in the same way. I have accepted the idea that my body transformation is a good motivator for my friends colleagues and even mild acquaintances. For my close friends, it's personal, but for others it's not that way at all. I'm just one more 'before and after' reality show.

I did tell a story about the hat pic in February but at that time I was having trouble uploading photos-now it's there.

Anyhow it was nice to re-read it today. Now when I look at that picture I think I look soft and out of shape. Had I never heard of a bicep curl or triceps kick-backs???

BTW - I just threw those tan shorts out recently. I had kept them for years as something I aspired to one day wear again. I wore them constantly back then - they fit perfectly and were quite flattering. They had a low waist, which I need, and which was quite hard to find in 1998. Anyway, there was a time mid-diet where I tried them on and they fit and they were so horribly out of date and ridiculous-looking that I immediately put them into my huge 'donate' pile. Do not save old clothes!

One of my favorite breakfasts

sorry pic is a bit blurry

Microwave a couple handfuls of frozen chopped spinach, served with fried egg + extra egg white on top and a home made pretzel bun. I like egg yolk to run into spinach as pictured above.  I also sprinkled a bit of parm cheese on the top as it tasted too low-fat. And I even added butter to the pretzel! But just a bit. I give this 5 points without the butter/cheese and 6-7 with, depending on generosity of fats. I used very little cheese. I am not a huge fan of cheese/egg combination. Strange lady I know. I do like cheese on bread, but this was hot out of the oven and screaming for a bit of melted butter. I made it from Trader Joe's whole wheat pizza crust dough. A great thing to have on hand for many reasons! If I were just eating something boring like an English muffin I would have probably put a slice of gouda or something instead of having such a big roll. Anyway, point is, I make these decisions in my head, trying to keep the meal to a certain number of points/calories and splurging on the good stuff. So in this instance, the hot roll was more enticing than cheese. But in other instances, like if there is soft brie available, I'd rather have that and have a smaller serving of bread or meat. So rather than being low-carb or low-fat I try and be high-craving and low-overall calorie. In maintenance it's not as big a deal, but when I was still losing, that's how I thought through things.

Jenna and Indya

2006? and Dec. 2009

Click on image to see bigger.
For more of our little photo shoot, see here:
Thanks Dave for getting dragged out of bed to be our photographer!

Interesting to see how the camera angles affected things if you look at all the pics.

This is actually a really big deal to both of us, I think, although I am totally speaking for Indya here. We got together last January, and I think it was maybe a few days into me having started. We were both really overweight and demoralized and it was sad to be with one of my dearest friends with us both feeling that way. I think we were both in the mid 180s.

So we went our separate ways (we live 8 hrs apart) and Indya read my blog and heard about my progress. She started her own plan. At about May I had lost maybe 30 lbs and she had lost 10. Then she stagnated and I kept losing. She had picked off all the low-hanging fruit in terms of behavioral changes and that's as far as those changes got her. By July Indya agreed to do things differently.

After a few defeated-sounding emails she just decided to agree to count what she was eating and instill a few rules about sweets and portions. She was already exercising a lot, but added in more weight resistance. She's a fellow Jackie/Jillian follower like me now. But the biggest difference, I think from an outsider perspective,  was in tracking what she ate. She downloaded Livestrong to her iPhone and tracked every single thing she ate. This was a huge leap for her. Agreeing to track all food intake is an admission of failure of sorts for anyone. It means you cannot figure things out by intuition alone. It was a hard admission for me, as I documented here, but a completely essential and momentous one. In fact, if someone comes to me asking for help but refuses to track her eating I pretty much know she's not serious. I haven't been proven wrong yet.

So she started losing. Now she's down another 30 lbs. It wasn't as simple and easy as just tracking, and not eating sweets except on Saturday, but the details of her 'journey' for lack of a less dorky word, are for her to tell.

Last night we got together again at my house, almost exactly one year later. We are both 140 lbs. She looks fantastic!

Indya and I have had a very similar path in terms of tracking, reading a lot, exercising every day (I don't think she's missed a day since July), trying to eat whole foods, planning, taking Saturdays off. We differ a bit on the carb/fat intake but not wildly any more. At this point I eat more fat and she eats more carbs than say we each  did 5 months ago and we've come close to meeting in the middle. We both eat a lot of eggs and wilted greens.

It's so funny to stand next to her in the mirror. We are the same exact height but have very different frames. Her shoulders are a full 2 inches above mine. I have a long neck. I'm much bigger framed with wider shoulders and hips and even wrists. (I have the frame of someone who is 5'9" and if my back weren't curved in a big 'S' I'd probably be that tall.) So physically we are different.

I gave her a bunch of clothes to try on for our much anticipated 'photoshoot'. It felt like college. We went over our remaining flab and our newly pronounced facial lines (negative consequence of losing weight when older) in our 'dressing room' (formerly known as Alex's room but he had fallen asleep with Dave in our bed while Indya and I were gabbing). Dave called us 'girls'. It was getting late and our photographer wanted to go to sleep but otherwise I could have done a lot more of the outfit-making. Anyway, outfits chosen, we dragged Dave out of bed and forced him to take our picture.

Neither of us had make-up or brushed hair, and indoor shots bore me to tears, but it felt so good to finally take that after picture of us together. The original one had haunted me for years. It was one of those photos that really made me see how bad I looked, even when I thought I had camouflaged every thing under baggy clothes. I always blamed unflattering photos on the angle. But now I realize that I don't look fat from any angle - no matter how candid the photo is. Old maybe, but not fat.

I think we both wanted that 2006 image banished as a bad old memory. So now it is. And good riddance!

Tower of temptation

Why is this at the front of my office???

I think what is so hard about the holidays is that the temptations just keep coming and coming. One after the other - if you stave off the chocolate covered cherries then there is that crazy popcorn moose munch to torture you. Day after day after interminable snow day.

I had developed a mindset where I really consciously thought about every thing in my mouth - is this really good? Am I just eating it because it's sweet? Do I even like things so sweet? And now I'm slipping. I am taking little tastes of the cookies Natasha's friend brought her, the whipped cream that went on the Snow Day Sundae (and Monday) dessert I let them have, the hazelnut/chocolate truffle whatever sample at Trader Joe's. I used to bypass all of it, and easily. But not recently. Oh well - at least we're all in the same boat.

I'm trying to be more conscious, not let my guard down, be more discriminating. This is where the limited social life comes in handy.