Sake Salmon

Nigella Lawson's delicious sake salmon over rice.

I intended to write a super-quick post to reference a recipe I like and had kind of forgotten about....but it ended up being longer and more introspective.

I know I've blogged about Nigella Lawson's sake salmon in passing before, but this recipe is so good that even I concede to stick to the recipe and I use various measuring spoons to make both the marinade and sauce (not without getting annoyed though). It's pretty and a great party pleaser too, as if it's done properly it is one big dish of fluffy rice (of course I switch from white to brown), glistening seared pink salmon and bright green cilantro clippings all over the top. It's kind of dramatic to put it in the middle of the table and dollop out huge spoonfuls to eagerly awaiting guests. And it's totally delicious. I didn't get to that part in my first post. It could use a tad of something sweet, like a drop of brown sugar, in the sauce, and it certainly needs to cook longer than she says for my liking, although you can see in her photo that she serves it pretty raw.

OK - now on to the more introspective part...

I just read the post where I originally referenced it. Kind of an unhelpful post as I hadn't even tried the recipe I referred to. But more noticeable to me is my overall challenged tone. It's strange now to remember how much I was struggling - that was at the -25 lb and 3 month mark. It was right around the time where I made the decision that I wasn't going to go below 21 points (I can't believe I went below 23) and I wasn't going to add points back after reaching goal. Somehow that comforted me. It made me feel like I could do it. I could stay plodding along at the B+/A- pace I was at - all my life I was that kind of student.

The truth is, I did add points back into my diet after I reached goal weight. I also upped the exercise. But I did so quite slowly, over a long period of time. Eventually I got much less restrictive and haven't really gained weight (+/- 3lbs from 140), except for a period last winter where I was snacking a lot and in my usual winter sedentary-ness. I don't count points anymore, although I did for a good long time after reaching goal. I do have that intuitive sense of what a normal portion is but I still must often consciously try and stick to that. If I'm still hungry I eat a little more. I also try not to snack too much but that is still a challenge. I do taste the little goodies around the office much more often than I did while losing, which was almost never. It's also possible that one could say I'm still really restrictive but it doesn't bother me as much anymore. Meaning, I still don't eat a lot of things that are tempting and caloric but that just seems normal to me now. Usually. I am surprised at how little I pay attention consciously anymore. Yesterday I did have to eat the home made jelly-shortbread concoction that wasn't even left for my branch at work. I wrote a series of posts on "what I did right" about 10 months ago, which was 1 year after I started losing and 6 months past goal weight. I think even since then I've let my guard down a fair bit, and perhaps more importantly internalized portion size a lot more. At that point I thought I had done all the changing I would do, but as it turns out, it takes a REALLY long time to become an intuitive eater. Of course I still make mistakes - getting overly full, or overly hungry. But I rarely count points.

I suppose now I eat an average of 24-26 points and I probably do about 3 points of exercise a day. Certainly the exercise varies from 2-4 points but I bet 3 is the average. I also have much more muscle mass, which burns calories all throughout the day. I think back when I wrote that post I was eating 21-22 points a day and doing 2 points of exercise. But of course, that was before I hit the 150 lb mark. Once you get there it gets a lot harder to earn exercise points. Weight Watchers is kind of ingenious that way - upping exercise alleviates plateaus.

It got easier over time for two reasons. 1. In reality I don't have to be as strict as when I was losing weight and 2. I don't want treats in the same compulsive way I used to.

I did eat a lot of that salmon last night- way more than the 3 or 4 oz I would have had while losing. It was good (good meaning tasting and good meaning healthy) and I was hungry.