Losing steam

I am one pound away from my original goal of 25 pounds (Home Depot has scales and I stepped on one when on a flower-shopping trip) and as the end is in sight, instead of trying harder, I'm losing steam. I gave myself yesterday as a "day off" and enjoyed cheese popcorn with Alex and dinner out with the whole family. I had a grilled salmon on a salad, but still, ate lots of the kids' buttery garlicky green beans (which btw everyone said were not as good as mine) and certainly went over the allotted 6 points of dinner. No bread, fries, dessert etc. The grilled salmon salad was ordered more because of having watched Nigella feast on something similar earlier in the day, than because I was being careful. After watching Nigella steam up some sweet/salty sake salmon concoction I was craving it. So I had a day off, although I didn't go crazy, and my main concern was whether, like an addict, I'd be able to hop back on the wagon again. Not sure where all this insecurity is coming from as I've done this before, but not lately. 

Perhaps it's because I'm hungry a lot lately and struggling to make it between meals. 21 points is just not very much food! Some weeks it is more than enough food and some weeks not. 

Truth be told, I always was hoping for 30 pounds, not 25, but 30 was just too big a number for me to get my head around. That would mean 6 more pounds to go.  It doesn't really matter though. I don't plan on adding many points back to my daily intake when I'm done. That's the sad truth of weight loss and it's a depressing realization. You can't be successful with a temporary change in eating habits but only with a permanent one. Dave says I'm cranky lately and perhaps my acceptance of this fact is why.  I've heard that it takes 3 months to really internalize a lifestyle change and I'm right at that mark.  

Time to think about how to make this a permanent lifestyle. As I was watching Nigella scoop up savory spoonfuls of salmon and saucy covered rice, I was thinking, "What if I were surrounded by excellent food all the time?" Could I still stick to small portions? It would be MUCH harder. I have tried to eat not only healthy food, but also food that tastes good. If I ever end up choosing just for what is the most filling/lowest points and it tastes bad I quickly chastise myself and try not to do it again. But relatively good tasting is different from something truly delicious. And I don't really cook that well that often. But I should! We should all love everything we eat. I'm trying Nigella's recipe this week.