Sunday, November 22, 2009

Crazy hungry

I wrote this a few days ago but didn't post it as it's basically just me whining. But to others who feel like they are struggling, this is just to say that I am too...

I don't know what is wrong with me lately. I'm so hungry in the first half of the day. I'm eating some extra, I think I gained 2 lbs, my clothes still fit fine, but I don't know why I'm so hungry in the morning. It's not just a time of the month thing, it's constant. I am more muscular, I am getting up earlier, I am in a non-losing mindset so I am not inclined to ignore hunger, but I still don't get why I'm SO much hungrier now than say, in the summer. And when I do eat the extra food I am still hungry for more - not overly full like I used to be if I did that. And I'm not pregnant. Now at the evening hour of 7:18 pm I'm not so hungry anymore - it's definitely a morning thing say 5am-12pm.

I'm also tired and depleted in the evenings from getting up so early most days.

Now, I could just eat more and go up a size, but I just bought a whole bunch of clothes at this size and buying a bunch more at a bigger size is sort of out of the question. I hesitated buying clothes, to be sure I could stay where I was, and I did for a while, but now that I've bought them I'm just hungrier - not less motivated, not craving things, not binge eating, not rebelling against being restricted - just plain old hungry - and only the first half of the day. Very frustrating! Honestly I don't know how I ate less than I'm eating now for so many months. Except on the weeks before my period I wasn't really overly hungry either.

Today isn't so bad so far, maybe because I ate a big dinner last night and slept in. I should try that more often!

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