Looks so relaxing

The other day, after it had been raining for days on end and was anticipated to rain for more days on end I saw a break in the deluge right after the school bus came and decided to play hooky for a few minutes to take a quick walk on the trail in the fresh air before work. Mind you this is already 9am. While out there I saw two very relaxed women, jogging and chatting, with all the beautiful leaves around them. It seemed like such a special little rendezvous between two friends.

For some reason I couldn't stop staring at them. Perhaps because I was wearing the same uniform as them, but with a blue shirt, and I was thinking about how nice it would be to not work and do this every day - but I don't really want to have that much free time now that my kids are in school all day...I'd feel a bit lazy. But I couldn't stop staring at them and I couldn't really figure out why. I had already done my exercise in the basement earlier in the morning when it was pouring so I was just walking, but I started jogging behind them so I could sneak up and take the photo. I don't think they noticed but I did feel sort of badly.

Eventually I put together all my thoughts. First of all, it was a visually compelling scene - their bright shirts against the gray skies and brown mushed leaves. But more than that, I was thinking two things - 1. Before I got in shape those people who can just relax and talk and run in their $98 yoga pants were somehow a world away from me. I used to see them on the trail all the time when I was doing my power walks and they always seemed to be in a completely different category from me.  I could never run for any distance, I could never talk and run (still can't really). I would never spend that much (I still don't spend that much, but I do buy expensive ones on sale). I wouldn't want to be a stay-at-home mom with all that time to exercise.

Now I would love to have lots of time to exercise, I do feel I deserve those expensive running pants, and I have gone running as a social event. I'm not ready or able to quit my job to do so, but I can at least see how a person gets there. It's relaxing to focus on yourself all day! I'm conflating two topics - working versus staying at home is its own topic. Being a person who enjoys and looks forward to exercising, who sees it as something good to do for physical and mental health, as opposed to someone who feels out of shape, unhappy about her body and dreads exercise is a different topic.

I have managed a happy medium, exercising at 6am, and more on the weekends. But I'm permanently exhausted.