Friday, July 17, 2009

White skinny jeans

To anyone feeling like you have a long road ahead...I never in a million years thought this sentence would leave my lips, but I'm wearing capri white skinny jeans today. They look pretty good, although with a tiny bit of muffin top. Oh well, I just keep tugging them up. If I can do this any of you can. Such a dorky-Oprah sounding statement but it's just so true. I'm such a formerly lazy sloth.

And my original goal was never to wear size 6 skinny jeans, but to have my 12s feel loose and comfortable. Even 7 pounds ago skinny jeans were kind of a bad idea. You can start out with small goals and edit them as you gain success.

I have to say also, that having my birthday coincidentally fall one week after reaching my final goal weight and at my 6 month diet anniversary (official start date January 7 so six months plus 1 week) left me with an overly grandiose idea of what a birthday should entail. And I usually kind of ignore birthdays. But yesterday was a narcissist's dream come true! Day off work, fancy haircut, relaxing lunch with friend, French pedicure, dinner with husband, cupcakes with kids/mom/hubby, new outfit from hubby. Natasha even wrote me a book and a card that said, "I love you mommy" which for some reason seemed really touching, maybe because she generally views arguing with me as a sport. I asked Alex's camp counselor to work with him on making me a card, mainly b/c the poor boy needs to practice writing before K starts, but that was so sweet too.

Sad to say, but having accomplished this goal does make me feel like I deserve more. I remember in the past feeling like, "I really shouldn't spend my free hour on something like getting a pedicure. I'd be better served spending that time exercising." That may sound self-loathing and all reasonably responsible women deserve a treat every now and again but in reality there is some truth to the idea that looking for self-improvement in nice nails just pales in comparison to getting rid of unnecessary and in my case unhealthy pounds. Nothing is less attractive than someone who feels uncomfortable in her own skin, with or without fancy toes.

I even told my husband, "I want you to buy me a new outfit for my birthday." He looked taken aback and kind of stuttered. I cut off the stammering and explained further, "I want you to buy me something you would like to see me in as I don't really know what that is and I'd like to wear clothes you like." I would NEVER have had the confidence to do that before. Everything looked awful and I just tried to find something that didn't look utterly atrocious. The idea of him buying me something only for it to not button, or accentuate my massive ass was just horrifying. He bought me a very cute outfit and was so proud of himself. Very adorable. Will post a photo later. This new life is kind of fun! OK - birthday over, back to reality. Must solve babysitting/ant infestation/financial crises in my house.

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