Day 1 - January 8, 2009
Starving. Absolutely starving but it's not bothering me in the slightest. I'm just ignoring it with a zen assurance. I remind myself of Sarah Palin. She's so sure of herself! This must be done and I'm doing it and being starving is no more annoying than pinching pants. I know this ability to ignore being starving is going to be short-lived. I've had this feeling before, and I succeed in losing weight, sometimes for a long time, other times for a short time, but it is certainly temporary that hunger is a non-issue. I'll enjoy it while I can.
I'm mainly using the Weight Watchers Points principals and emailing a diary of my food intake every day to my friend Emily, who is a lifetime member, a good listener and an eager coach. Emily constantly tells me to eat fewer nuts and dried fruits. I am already a proficient home cook, I know the rules of whole grains, limited processing, good fats, etc. I like Michael Pollan's ultra simple mantra: Eat food. Not too much. Mostly greens. I try to keep that in my head. Fat-free chemical dressing is not my answer. I think those things taste gross. I try not to think of myself on a diet, but rather as having made a decision to get back to healthy sustainable eating habbits. The depressing part is that I have to eat small reasonable portions for the rest of my life. I know I'll go through other periods of slipping up. I try not to think about the assured failure at some later point and just focus on succeeding now. Sigh.
I immediately realize how much consistent instant gratification I was getting from food. Bored? Have a low-fat yogurt. Near the kitchen? Have some almonds - they have good fats! Don't want to de-clutter for the 1000th time? Slice up an apple. I eat all the time. Healthy foods for sure, but too many of them. Now each food must be chosen carefully and enjoyed thoroughly. Time spent eating must be reallocated to more useful endeavors. Like blogging.