Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Days 2-3 - New regime

Day 3
It used to be that a small fruit or veggie snack did nothing for my hunger. Now it actually works. I have also read in several books, most notably "French Women don't Get Fat" that if you eat less and are not stuffing yourself endlessly you actually taste the food more. Now I thought this was complete hooey. I do not eat endless amounts of bland pasta to fill an emotional void. I eat whole wheat pasta with lovely sauteed vegetables, and a drizzle of olive oil, but in large portions. I eat because it is satisfying and tastes good, perhaps often out of boredom or procrastination, but not for some deep emotional glut.

But even after a few days I am finding flavors are stronger. I really enjoy my few bites of whatever. I don't need as much as I am feeling the food's richness. I have not opted for totally non-fat blandness so I actually do have food to taste. I'm eating what I ate before actually, but less of it. Right now I'm ok with having smaller portions of stronger-tasting food. This will probably change in a few days. But for now it's ok. Emily tells me my choices are too energy dense and not satisfying enough. I know she's right long-term, but for now I want to eat the foods I want and if that means eating only a little that's ok. She tells me I'm not eating enough. Perhaps but I need to instill some discipline in my eating. I'll eat more in a few days. I'm not starving myself. I try jogging and learn quickly that she is right. I am light-headed and weak. I come home and eat a sensible snack. Must stick to Points allotments.

One big difficulty is being in the kitchen off and on for hours on end, preparing meals, cleaning up getting lunches ready...it's much harder not to pick and snack when the food is within arm's reach. Self-discipline and control. I'm not a type-A person. I don't like rules. This is new for me.

Food diary to Emily.
ok, so far...
I'm realizing i must measure things...i'm guessing at amounts
i'm also realizing that eating is a big part of my life which i have to basically try and forget about. sad.

small (130 cal) yogurt with small handful peanuts ( I know! they're gone now, that was the last handful)

romaine salad with 4oz salmon, 5 cherry tomatoes, handful baby carrots
1tblspoon balsamic dressing
half a while wheat naan - 120 cal


sauteed greens, couscous, beans, haven't cooked it yet. hopefully no after dinner snack.

Day 2

Still hungry but not in the same way. More like low-level annoying itch or something. Am proud of ability to stop at smaller amount. I have come to terms with the idea that I have to be hungry sometimes. Lots of the time. I know most people accepted this fact long ago, but somehow through the whole pregnant/nursing thing I lost that concept. I also started snacking whenever I felt like it, as long as it was something relatively healthy. New mode of thinking. If you're hungry between meals just wait. If you're starving and feeling weak eat a small amount of fruit or carrot sticks. Eat the number of Points Weight Watchers suggests. I resolve myself to email a food log to Emily each night for accountability. This isn't nearly as hard as it sounds if you're not snacking all day long. It's easier to keep track of fewer items.

Can't find food log for one of these days. Above log is either day 2 or 3.

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